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Five Self-Esteem Strategies for Students p2
The rigors of school present can present many complex and unique challenges for today’s students. Maintaining a balance between the burdens of course work and the social demands of peers can be extremely difficult no matter who you are. Consequently, within this challenging environment, the necessity for creating and sustaining healthy self-esteem takes on significant importance.
Low self-esteem, whether stemming from poor grades or a lack of popularity, can be a very serious issue. Studies show that students with an unhealthy self image are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcohol and using illicit drugs. If the condition is not addressed, students may present with symptoms of anxiety and depression, develop physical ailments, and even contemplate suicide.
The enormous pressures that youths face on a daily basis can accumulate and often seem unbearable. To weather this storm, it is crucial that students develop ways to maintain a healthy self image—to build their self-esteem. The first part of this series discussed the first two tips you can use to create and maintain a healthy self-image. Below are three more tips you can use to construct and nourish more positive self-esteem:
3. Create a Network of “True” Friends
If your current network of friends includes people you feel you need to impress or who pressure you to act in ways you ordinarily wouldn’t, you may want to reconsider your affiliation. Trying to be someone you’re not, just for the sake of popularity, is unhealthy and unnecessary. It can cause anxiety and your feelings of self-worth may suffer. You should never have to try that hard.
True friends are the ones you can always count on to be there for you. They are the people that enrich your life, not by how they look or what they wear, but by their loyalty and integrity. You rely upon them to help celebrate your success and for a sympathetic ear in times of affliction. Having people in your life that help motivate you towards triumph, and cushion the blow when you when you fall, will do a world of good for your self-esteem.
4. Be Honest and Keep Your Word
Have you ever told a lie and then, when you thought it may come to light, told another just to protect the first? If you answered no, I congratulate you, but if you answered in the affirmative, rest assured, you are in the majority.
How did these lies make you feel? A bit stressed? Anxious? I’m guessing they did. These “little white lies” may seem harmless on the surface, but they can create tribulations for you down the road.
The problem is, while trying to juggle these minor inconsistencies, told, perhaps, to escape an obligation or appear more popular, you are elevating your level of stress, which can in turn damage your self-esteem.
The truth, however, has dual benefits. As the American Playwright David Mamet once quipped, “Always tell the truth—it’s the easiest thing to remember.” Well said. When you tell the truth, you never have to get your story straight. Also, while the truth is not always convenient, it will, at the very least, bolster your sense of integrity. Tell the truth and keep your word. You may not always be popular, but you will be respected.
5. Take Time for Gratitude
When you truly appreciate just how special and how unique you are, it can feel very powerful. You feel like you can accomplish anything. But there is another emotion, one equally powerful, that is perhaps even more significant—the feeling of gratitude, expressed to those who helped to shape you.
Remember, you didn’t become who you are without help, and taking time to give regular thanks for the blessings in your life will help unlock a spiritual lift that will forever sustain you.
Five Self-Esteem Strategies for Students p1
For students, school is more than just a place where classes are held, tests are taken and grades dispersed. It is also the most prominent social arrangement in their lives—a place where friendships are cultivated, and the need to be liked and valued by peers is central.
The pressure to excel academically while still being well-received by one’s cohorts can be difficult. To weather this storm, it is crucial that students develop ways to maintain a healthy self image—to build their self-esteem. Below are two tips you can use to construct and nourish a positive self-image:
1. Recognize Your Strengths
Instead of squandering time, pondering all the things your not, take some time to reflect and write down all the things you do well. Maybe you’re exceptional at math or shooting a basketball, a computer whiz or just a good listener with your friends and family. These are all essential traits that shape and define you.
Focusing only on your limitations stifles your ability to grow and blossom and creates a lot of strain in your life. Regardless of how much you may try, you are certain to ascertain that becoming good at everything will never be possible. Why go through the heartache?
Concentrate on improving skills you already possess, rather than fretting over the ones you lack. This strategy will create a sense of momentum and worth in your life, helping you feel valued and appreciated. By creating an inventory of your skills and abilities, you are recognizing your own self worth. Take some time to acknowledge and celebrate those characteristics that make you unique and irreplaceable.
2. Remember, Everybody Fails. Everybody.
In 1854 and again in 1858, Abraham Lincoln campaigned for a seat in the United States Senate, and in both elections he was defeated. But he never once allowed these losses to label or discourage him, nor did he wallow in self pity. Instead of giving up, as most certainly would have, Lincoln learned from these defeats, became motivated to overcome them—to grow. Then, in 1860, amidst disquieting times within the nation, Lincoln was elected the 16th President of the United States, and the rest is, well, history.
A great contemporary example of persistance and determination is the story of young Sydney Crosby, who this year became the youngest hockey captain ever to hoist NHL’s holy grail, Lord Stanley’s Cup. What is unique about Crosby is that the year prior he and his team made it to the Stanley Cup Finals, only to be defeated. This year he ironically faced the same team as last years finals, and this time they won.
You are going to have impediments in your life, but your image—your story—will be shaped not by those adverse events, but by how you react to them. Receiving a poor grade on an exam, for example, can be an agonizing setback and can cause you a great deal of stress. You convince yourself that all is lost, based on this sole event.
The trick is to view this setback from a different perspective—to change the way you react. This isolated failure, while discouraging, can become a wonderful opportunity for growth. First, accept that you made a mistake—it happens to everyone—and develop a plan to correct it, to prevent the likelihood of a recurrence. Next and most importantly, move on—let it go.
Self-esteem is something that you must continually work on everyday, even despite circumstances. Self-confidence is like a muscle in that the more you exercise it the more you strengthen it. Stay tuned for even more tips to help ensure you can cope with your schooling.
Failure to Act = Failure to Succeed
Don’t worry about what others will think. That statement has become has almost cliché, an old standby for motivation, but how many people actually live by that motto? Ask yourself, how many actions have you failed to take in your life, fearing what other people may think? My guess is there are quite a few, probably too many to count. You’re not alone though, many of us have missed great opportunities fretting over how we might be perceived. We get so wrapped up in every possible negative scenario that we fail to see the obvious “silver lining” in things. For some reason, not acting feels safer than the alternative. Later, we lament to anyone in earshot, about how stagnant our lives have become and about all our lost opportunities. It’s an awful cycle but one that can become habitual very easily.
Fear of the way we are perceived can be a major impediment to growth. Many of us become paralyzed from taking action because we’re afraid of the way it will look to others, but this paralysis is completely unwarranted. The majority of people—those same people we worry about—are far too concerned about themselves and their own issues to even notice what we’re doing. If you think about it, concern over the way we are perceived is rather egotistical. It is none of our business what other people think about us.
Now there are people who care about you, and thus have a vested stake in the decisions you make, but why in the world would you worry about their perceptions? They are the people who want you to succeed and will unfailingly root for you regardless of the outcome of the decisions you make. They are your support team, people who will be there for you through good and bad. Count yourself lucky for having them in your corner. The rest of the world, however, is too wrapped up in their own daily grind to have time to ponder yours.
I have been guilty of inaction in the past, agonizing on the way it may look to others. Sadly, that is time I can never get back, but hopefully, by sharing this epiphany with you, I can at least make it count for something. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll probably agree that at least 95% of the thoughts you entertain are of a self-centered nature.
We think about ourselves, and that is perfectly normal. The remainder of our thoughts is probably spent worrying or celebrating the ones we love. But how much time do you spend thinking about “John Doe’s” life? The answer is probably none, except for how John Doe’s life may effect your own or your loved ones. That being said, why would you assume that John Doe has time to pine over you?
He doesn’t. Isn’t that a tremendous relief? His only thoughts, in regard to your life, are how your success or failure will impact him.
Take a talented ballplayer, just up from college, an absolute star in his collegiate days. In his first year at the Major League level, he finds himself on the bench, playing second fiddle to a perennial all-star. This doesn’t sit well with him at all. He is accustomed to being the star, and his new role of bench warmer is not exactly what he had envisioned. He wants to secure the starting position, but he’s hampered by thoughts of how the fans will take it.
Does he want this all-star—his competition—to fail? Probably, but not because he dislikes him. His only thought is how that failure may positively benefit him. Now I’m not saying this is a healthy way to think, but I will say it’s natural. But here’s why I brought that up: If you decide not to act towards growth and excellence in your life, there will always be someone else who has figured out it’s best to act. Your inaction could be just what John Doe was waiting for.
Planning and preparation are important tools for success, but they are worthless if we fail to act when given the opportunity. The people we recognize as great, the ones we admire, are the ones that made a decision to act, some in the face of great public scrutiny. When the astronomer Copernicus tried to convince the world that the earth revolved around the sun, his views met with grave debate from a scientific community that believed the opposite. But he was right, and the rest is history. But what if he would have been wrong? Okay, so he was wrong. What did he really lose by deciding to act on his theory? He’d still be the same old Copernicus. His decision to act, though, changed not only his own life, but the world’s.
The only negative thing that can happen as a result of a new decision is that it may not quite work out the way you had imagined. But what have you really lost? The worst case scenario is that you’ll be back to square one, ready to make another decision and act upon it. Believe me, there is a not a swarm of people stroking their moustache, ready to pass judgment or belittle you. You’re not that important to them, and they just don’t have time!
Another Fishy Coincidence?
Holidays and vacations are awesome aren’t they? We get a chance to get away from whatever we have been doing and take a much needed break. Breaks renew energy and restore concentration, which is important because it is impossible to stay laser focused indefinitely. We need the contrast of something else in order to refocus effectively.
I recently experience a short vacation doing something that I love to do, get out in nature and experience the water. I find the freedom of nature offers a nice contrast to the hustle and bustle of living in a city wired together with technology. However, even when I am on vacation my ability to be a master manifestor doesn’t stop. We are always co-creating our experience, this doesn’t shut off ever.
So if you are manifesting every moment and every day, doesn’t it make sense to learn how to do it effectively? Think about how powerful it would be to have the ability to manifest any experience you wish whenever you wished to experience it? I believe that this should be your default mental state because it already once was!
When you were little you were able to manifest almost anything you wanted. You were probably not aware that you were manifesting, but your success rate was likely very high. Then we learn all sorts of reasons why we can’t live the life of our dreams and adopt all types of excuses that keep us living small. We can all related to being young and told that you couldn’t have or do something that you really really wanted.
It is those types of experiences that we allow to influence us in a non-empowering way. However, just because it happened once, doesn’t mean it’s destined to happen over and over again. Especially if you go straight to work on mastering your inner game, and honing your manifestation abilities. You are manifesting at all times, the only question is are you manifesting what you truly desire?
I’ve watched this process unfold in my life for many many years. At first I didn’t realize what was going on, or understand the principals behind it. That was pretty frustrating, especially when I would attract the exact situation or circumstance that I didn’t want! However, when you practice something enough you eventually get pretty good at it, and my recent vacation trip proved this.
We were fishing with a few buddies and the topic of law of attraction came up. During the conversation a bet was made that whatever we focused on, with true belief, would inevitably come to manifest. One of my friends chimed in that my other friend should catch a nice fillet-size “rock-cod” fish for supper. I bet out loud that the next fish would be exactly that.
Within 5-minutes a nice fillet-size rock-cod was on the end of my other friends line. As he reeled the fish in the three of them stared in disbelief on how fast that occurred. Two of them were even a little skeptical and were inclined to dismiss it off as a coincidence. However, considering all the different types of fish you can catch, and the various sizes, what is the chance that this fish was a fillet-sized rock-cod?
Well to prove my point on how this would continue to happen throughout the trip I had them all focus on something that they wanted to attract. One picked catching a big “green-ling” fish. Another wanted to catch the most fish. Yet another friend wanted to catch a shark. Myself, I didn’t want quantity of fish I wanted quality. Well in only two subsequent fishing trips guess what happened?
My friend caught a big green-ling fish that we ate for supper the one night. It was the only catch off the day, minus of course the shark that my other friend caught. Keep in mind we are not using specific bait to attract certain types of fish, just using the same lure for all catches. What is the chance that the two people who wanted to catch certain types of fish only caught those two types of fish?
In case you weren’t aware we were fishing in the ocean, which tends to have a few more species than just those two types. In fact, in previous trips to the same location we have pulled out many different types of fish, including sea bass, orange cod, rock-cod, lingcod, perch and halibut. But on this occasion, only the two types of fish those two people came out of the water. Another fishy coincidence?
As for the battle between quality and quantity, that was solved during the next trip out. I had been catching a couple fish that day, decent sized but definitely was not competing with my third friend who was literally catching a fish on every cast. He had easily caught almost 10 fish when everyone else was not catching anything. It was as if the fish were only biting his line. Of course, that’s not what he’d lead you to believe, in fact the line he used was “it’s all in the technique”!
Regardless of how he was catching them he was fulfilling his prophecy of catching the most number of fish. Mind you some of these fish were the size of sardines, but it was true to the quantity experience he wanted to manifest. Myself, I was focused on the quality of the experience and for the very last cast of the day I intended to catch a “big-one”.
The suspense was mounting as I reeled my line in, hoping to attract a fish-on-demand. My heart nearly leaped out of my chest when the fish struck my line. Whomp! The fishing pole dipped straight-down, this fish was a fighter! After what seemed like an eternity I pulled the fish out of the water to catch a trophy-sized fish. It was a strange sense of expecting it to happen coupled with amazement at the experience unfolding right before my eyes.
Manifestation is amazing, and watching your desires and dreams unfold right before your eyes is what everyone is supposed to experience. We are energetic beings of pure creation and possibility. However, many of us bought into a story that doesn’t empower them and allow them to be who they truly are. I am no different that any of you in the flesh and bones, only by my decisions and actions do I distinguish myself.
How do you distinguish yourself? What intentions to you hold consciously in your mind? What actions do you commit to in order to bring about your desired experiences? These are tough questions and are often hard to answer honestly by yourself. As your coach I will help you see through the illusions and limiting beliefs that are holding your life hostage.
Was this all just one coincidence after another? I think not! This was not just a big fish tale, manifestation is something I do everyday and can teach you step-by-step how. I love helping people do mental makeovers that empower them to be their best. Contact me today or read more about my many services that could assist you with changes. Hurry up and do something before the “big one” in your life gets away!
How Safe Are Mental Health Prescriptions?
Mental health treatment, despite recent advancements in the field, continues to carry a stigma which suggests abnormality and promotes exclusion. Moreover, mental health continues to be segregated from the field of General Health, and the serious nature of these illnesses is regularly discounted. Those suffering from common ailments, such as depression and anxiety, not only face a litany of troubling symptoms, but are forced to suffer these symptoms secretly, in fear of being stereotyped or profiled by a world that remains in ignorance about mental illness. When mental health patients finally decide to seek treatment, many are “at the end of their rope,” and are willing to try just about anything in hope of returning to a “normal” life.
The first step taken by doctors is usually a strategy which involves prescribing medication, thought to ease persistent symptoms. Doctors hope to control the symptoms of depression and anxiety by adjusting the levels of certain chemicals in the brain. Today’s most prescribed drugs fall under a category called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs. SSRIs work to control the brain’s level of serotonin—a neurotransmitter which regulates mood and behavior. Drugs belonging to this class include brand names like Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil and are prescribed at an alarming rate.
Many patients have experienced some degree of relief from these medications, but predictably, drugs of this kind are not without their problems. Most people report at least some detrimental side effects when taking SSRIs, and in isolated cases, these drugs have proven dangerous, if not fatal. The most alarming side effect, a propensity for violent and self-destructive behavior, including suicidal ideation, seems to be experienced very early on in a medication regiment, and is especially profound in young adults. The school shooting rampage in Columbine, gave rise to heated debates over antidepressants and adolescents, as it was documented that at least one of the shooters was being treated with these medications. Other school shootings show similar evidence to support this alarming correlation. In addition, suicide rates for young adults taking SSRI medications are five times that of their non-medicated peers.
These SSRIs have a laundry list of side effects and many experts wonder if they are not creating more problems than their solving. Here’s a short list:
SSRI Side Effects:
Agitation
Anxiety
Insomnia
Sweating
Tremors
Loss of appetite
Sexual difficulties
Impotence
Effexor, a popular drug that lies outside of the SSRI category, is commonly prescribed to treat both Depression and Anxiety disorders. It too comes with a suitcase full of troubling side effects and has also been known to cause increased blood pressure in patients. Hypertension is the leading cause of heart attacks, and the use of Effexor has been linked now to heart conditions that have proved fatal.
Why should the solution put you at risk of more disease, likely worse than what you started with, and even increase your chance of death? It shouldn’t. Think about this. Your car breaks down in the middle of the desert. Say you find a solution, but the risk if you choose it is that your car might blow up and you’ll die. The really isn’t any question that 99% of us would walk 100 miles if needed in that hot desert heat in order to find another option right?
The logic behind this thinking is exactly why many promising new drug-free alternative therapies are quickly becoming more popular. The time is now to seek out and only support solutions that are proven to work, with the bare-minimum side effects, zero preferred.
Within this environment, characterized by a barrage of prescriptions, some doctors are seeking a more comprehensive approach to mental health. Cognitive therapy and behavioral modification are used in conjunction with medication to learn more about the deeply hidden causes of these ailments.
More recently, techniques such as meditation, magnetic therapy and subconscious restructuring have been employed as well. The goal: identify and treat the root of depression or anxiety, rather than just the symptoms.
Natural supplements—vitamins and minerals—are also being used as an alternative to prescription medication. Find out more about 10 mental health supplements here.
It seems today there are as many treatment techniques and supplements as there are patients, and more will undoubtedly emerge, trying to capture a piece of the mental health market. That’s not necessarily bad news, it may even be encouraging. The trend to find alternate treatments—treatments which are more holistic and comprehensive in their approach—is promising, in that it seeks to replace the singular approach that exists now, which relies predominantly on potentially harmful drugs.
Manifesting with Imagination
It’s time to get MAD!!! Madly in love with manifesting using your imagination and the Law of Attraction that is. I want you to get excited about your life again, because you are about to read first-hand exactly how you can manifest the life of your dreams. Before we get into it, please allow me to provide some background as to what exactly I mean by manifesting.
man⋅i⋅fest [man-uh-fest]
–verb: to prove; put beyond doubt or question: The evidence manifests the guilt of the defendant.
In this case when we are talking about manifesting your imagination we are talking about proving beyond doubt or question that your imagination is creating your experience. In fact if you haven’t realized it already, your imagination is helping to manifest every moment of your life.
At first it might seem a bit scary to think that you are actually in control of your experiences, but once you understand the basic principals behind manifesting, you will wonder why you didn’t master it earlier. Manifestation takes a bit a practice but manifest a big success once and you will become hooked on creation!
I love manifesting!Among my many manifestations are recovering lost items like car keys, house keys, licence and cell phone. I’ve also manifested a free car, stolen car, an amazing dog, and one of my most treasured manifestation of all… my relationship with my partner Eden. Of course manifesting money out of thin air, meeting celebrities on-demand and helping change the lives of hundreds of people isn’t too shabby either.
The reason that I wield the power of the Law of Attraction so easily is only because I’ve been playing around with manifestation for so long. In fact, I’ve been a deliberately manifesting for over 12 years! You can say I was consciously creating my reality long before “The Secret” DVD or “Law of Attraction” books were even thought of.
Back then however I thought I was going crazy, because in all my life’s education I had never come across any teachings or even mention of this powerful and ever-present force. However, now you can learn from my mistakes and master the art of manifestation on your own. Here’s how to manifest like magician in 3 easy steps:
1. Identifying your desire
2. Feeding your desire
3. Allowing your desire
The first step is identifying your desire.
The starting point for all success and achievement is desire, or simply asking for it. Even the Bible says “ask and thou shall receive”. The biggest reason why people don’t get what they want in life is because they don’t know what they want. Knowing what to ask for is the first step in bringing it into your life. You first must identify what it is you want before you can set out to get it.
When it comes to manifesting imagine that God, the Universe, or the deity of your choice was a Postman. Everybody knows what a postman is known to do… deliver! Except the “Manifestation Postman” delivers your desires 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year like Santa on steroids! And what is really cool is that we are not restricted to the quality and quantity of the presents we receive.
Small parcel. Big parcel. Many parcels. The factory. It really doesn’t matter, we get what we ask for. The postman will deliver the most appropriate thing that matches our inner-intentions. BUT, if you have no intention in mind what do you think the Postman will deliver? You guessed right if you said a whole lot of nothing!
When I wanted to deliberately attract someone into my life, I needed to first identify my desire. I started with asking for a great relationship. But after realizing that we all want a great relationship I realized that I needed to get deeper and be more specific. I asked myself clarification questions such as “Why did I want a great relationship?”, “What does a great relationship mean to me?” and “What does a great relationship consist of?”.
Now I was ready for the second step in the manifesting process, feeding your desire.
Once you identify your desire the next step is to give your desire food. Food in the form of energy, and the most powerful form of energy you are capable of giving is your attention, energy, and focus. Make sure you are providing your energy and attention towards your best intentions and highest aspirations. Focus only on the positives and avoid dwelling on the negative “what if’s” of the situation.
In the world of manifesting, the quickest and surest way to manifest something undesirable is by using the words Don’t, Can’t, Not, & No. It is important to recognize that the reason for this is because the “postman” only knows how to deliver, that is it’s job. When you offer up “I don’t want a girlfriend that is boring, irresponsible, close-minded, etc…” you might as well have just said yes to all the above.
When you say “don’t” you might as well be saying you do! For example, tell your mind right now not to think of a purple penguin. How about telling your mind “not” to think of a pink polar bear. Did it work? Not likely. It’s pretty much impossible to program your mind to avoid manifesting something you tell it, unless of course, you tell it to manifest something that you do want.
Now you can see why it is so important to choose your words carefully! For my desired relationship I focused on defining the emotional attributes of a partner that I wanted. Personality, or the ability to carry on a conversation with ease. Responsibility, or the ability to take care of self and respond to lifes challenges. Open-minded to explore the possibility of new ideas. Compassionate, outgoing and cares for people.
I focused on these attributes and qualities regularly and especially whenever I felt lonely. I felt the emotion behind those characteristics and what it would feel like to experience them in a relationship. Each time I grew my belief that I was attracting my desires, the further I strengthened my ability to manifest them. Faith connects the unseen forces of your imagination and brings about your most emotionally charged intentions.
Now it is time for the third and final step, allowing your desire.
So far I have identified my desire and also given it food in the form of my attention. Allowing is all about moving past your fears and tapping into the power of belief. Napoleon Hill said “If you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it”. Contrarily, if you can’t see it, don’t believe it, or both, then you probably won’t achieve it right? It doesn’t matter how vivid you can imagine something if you doubt that you can manifest it.
When you desire with doubt, it manifests so slow that you might as well think about manifesting something else. When you desire with hope, your intentions will also slowly manifest. However, when you desire with belief, it’s on it’s way to happening. Having a desire with the belief you can achieve it is the real secret to manifesting. Whatever you believe, with emotion, becomes your reality. This is your imagination at work.
Allowing is the faith that if you close one door another door of opportunity will open. The more you believe this the more you allow, and the quicker the things you want to see in your life will manifest. I was casually dating before I met my dream mate, and strongly desired to be in a great relationship instead of the cliched “friends with benefits”.
I realized I must let go and close the door in my current relationship, before I could hope to attract any new and potentially greater relationships into my life. A couple months after using the exact manifestation process I described I met my partner through non-traditional means, the Internet. I met most of my previous girlfriends through school, work, or mutual friends, so if you told me 3 years ago that I would meet someone special online I would have thought you were crazy.
I allowed her into my life by allowing the Postman to deliver my intentions regardless of how. I didn’t tell the post man that the package had to come at a certain time, in a certain wrapping, using a certain way, I only focused on all the qualities of a great relationship.
Today be more conscious about the thoughts you deliver with emotion, recognizing that they are indeed creating your future. James Allen said ”You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” Do you want to live more of the emotions that you are currently experiencing? If not, you may want to get serious with the simple 3 step manifestation process above.
So in recap, if you want to begin to deliberately manifest then you will have to focus on three things. Identify your desire, feed your desire, and allow your desire. Now you have a magic 3-step formula for manifesting anything that you can imagine. Today is your day. This minute is-your-moment. Manifest your destiny with your imagination!
Noteworthy Accomplishments
Business
- Certified Subconscious Restructuring Coach
- Touches and Transforms the Lives of Hundreds of People with Mental Makeovers
- Helps Life Coaches Speak their Passion and Develop their Business
- City of Calgary “WOW” Presenter on hot topics such as Goals and Relationships
- Uses Technology to Increase Efficiency, Productivity, and Save the Environment
- Successful Independent Nikken Wellness Consultant
Personal
- Past President of a local Toastmasters Club, and was the honored recipient of the Area J41 Toastmaster of the Year award.
- As President led Toastmasters club to “President’s Distinguished” – highest level of recognition available for a club in Toastmasters.
- Competed and won 3rd Place at a Division Humorous Speech Contest and 3rd Place in Division Evaluation Contest
- Volunteer for the Calgary Boys & Girls Club
- Coordinated ‘Speechcraft’ Public Speaking Sessions
- Youth Leadership Program Coordinator
And Much Much More….
Did You Just Throw Away Success?
You might have heard someone tell another that they just “threw away their chance for success”. Have you ever contemplated if this is truly possible? Can someone ever throw away their chance for success? The simple answer is no, but you can definitely waste a good situation.
In most circumstances you can never throw away your chances completely, but you always run the risk of hindering your path and taking the long way to the achievement of your goals. No one wants to handcuff their own future, so how do you ensure your chance for success stays close by your side?
By knowing what success looks like… How do you measure success? How do you know if you are winning in the game of life if you don’t know what winning looks like? How would you be able to spot success if you saw it coming down the road? How do you know that you aren’t successful already?
We often keep our eye towards the horizon of tomorrows achievement while neglecting to celebrate the victories that lead us to where we are today. Not recognizing a good thing when you see it can be a very costly mistake, especially in the case of a loved one or valuable employee.
An old Indian fable told by a good friend of mine illustrates the risk we run by being impatient…
Once a man did a lot of penance and God appeared to him. He asked for infinite wealth and power. God smiled, and granted his wish but with a small rider. He told him that he would have to go to the banks of Narmada river at a certain point where the small spherical stones are strewn about.
God told him that amongst those stones he would find a ‘Parasmani’ – the philosopher’s stone, that can turn metal into gold. The man was overjoyed. He asked God how would he recognize the Parasmani from amongst the millions of identical stones lying on the banks of the river.
God told him that this stone would be slightly warmer to touch than the others and disappeared. Now, this man excitedly went to the indicated spot and was flabbergasted on seeing the multitude of identical stones there. They were all similar looking.
Initially he made piles of the stones that he had checked for the warmth. But he found this to be a futile exercise after a few days, so he decided to start throwing the stones away from the banks, far into the river, after he checked them.
Days passed, weeks passed, months passed. This man kept picking up stones and throwing them into the river. People called him the mad stone-thrower. Years passed and the man kept doing what had become his practice. His actions were practiced until they had become automatic and unconscious.
Suddenly one day he picked up a stone which was slightly warmer than the rest, but before he realized what he had got he had already chucked it into the river! Sometimes our practices become so reactive in the moment that we lose sight of the end-goal.
This is force of habit which stops us from choosing in every moment how we can design our future. There is choice but our hand has already moved and thrown the stone. Habits can be changed. Be patient with your progress! What must you commit to learning, changing or doing in order to be successful today?
Have you stopped to smell the sweet aroma of achievement lately? Have you oriented yourself carefully around your goals so that you know when to celebrate success? It is important to place your vision on the end result so that you know exactly when you arrive there.
The wise believe that the past is destiny and the future can be designed. We can choose at every moment, what we want from our future. Knowledge is power when you realize that there are options. True power comes from the wisdom your receive when you consciously exercise your choice.
Did Intuition Help Me Here?
Today was an eventful day. I decided to do some yard work after I finished gathering up the recycling. I had some tree trimming to do and also planned to clean up the ‘presents’ that my faithful four-legged friend leaves behind. Did I mention that I am grateful he is not a very large dog?
When I realized that I needed a plastic bag to pick up the presents I remembered that I had just emptied them into the recycle bin. I went to the back of the alley, opened the bin and routed around for a plastic bag. We don’t get too many bags anymore, ever since investing in some cotton and nylon bags.
I found one bag with no holes and a handle that could be used for storage. All of a sudden my subconscious flashed me a picture of a chapters bag. I remember getting a bag like that recently from a friend of mine with a book inside as a gift. I searched around the recycle bin and retrieved the chapters bag.
To my surprise the bag was not empty! No I didn’t throw out my book if that is what you are thinking! I did spot a small little pin that I got recently as the “Past President” of my local Toastmasters club. My 1-year term was up at the end of June and as a parting gift I had received a pin that I put in this chapters bag.
I must have forgotten about it when I emptied the bag earlier and mistakenly put it in the recycle bin while the pin was still in there. I would have lost that special commemorative pin forever, and probably wondering where I lost it. But instead I was rewarded at the right time with the flash of the chapters bag in my mind.
If that picture didn’t come up, and I didn’t think “that small chapters bag would be perfect to use”, then I probably would have used one of the other plastic bags in the bin. Because of the picture I was magnetized to exploring further and putting in the effort to find it. You can imagine the smile on my face after I found it.
Later I was basking outside in the sunshine and appreciating my good fortunes. I suddenly got an urge to phone a friend that I haven’t seen or spoke to for a few months. Unfortunately I didn’t have my phone on me so I couldn’t honour this inclination. When I went inside I noticed that he had just called me moments ago.
Was this another coincidence or another example of how subtle intuition can be? My friend had phoned to invite me over for a Canada Day celebration. Unfortunately we couldn’t make it over because we already had plans, but of course you realize that my attendance was not the point of this story.
The point of the story is that you can have some pretty interesting, enlightening and rewarding experiences if you start to listen to your intuition and follow your instinct more. Intuition helps you figure out problems, guides you to know who to trust, senses danger, and alerts you about the things you believe are important.
Life is amazing. Life is meant to be lived amazing. Go out and experience synchronicity, divine-timing and see the perfection in everything. Practice listening to your heart, following your gut and keep finding out more about yourself. You are more powerful than you realize!
Key Questions to Uncover Your Strengths
Ask somebody “what are your strengths?” and you will likely get a perplexed look as a response. This tends to happen for one of two reasons: The person is too shy to mention their strengths, perhaps out of fear of looking conceited, or the person doesn’t answer, probably because they have not fully considered what their strengths are.
Let’s assume that you have no worries and hang-up’s about mentioning your strengths to others, but if you do, you will find Subconscious Restructuring of great interest. If you haven’t yet fully considered what your strengths are then continue reading to find out ways we can focus on uncovering strengths.
Usually our strengths come to us so naturally that we tend think everyone is or ought to be good at them. For example, we all read at a different speeds but yet we tend to think that our reading speed is the average reading speed for other most people. Similarily we may have some exceptional listening skills, artistic eye, or dancing ability that is laying dormant just waiting to be discovered.
The truth is that most other people don’t have the same strengths as you. You are unique simply because of the way you see, process and do things. The talents your see as common are usually one of a kind. Our unique way of seeing the world is an inherent strength that can be used to our advantage. Hone in your strengths and you can easily double your income or successfully build a business around them.
Did you know that country singing sensation Leanne Rhymes started at age 3? Tiger Woods, the guru of golfing generation started at age 7. The worlds most successful investor Warren Buffet credits this principle for becoming a billionaire. What is the success principal that these famous examples all started at such a young age?
Loverage. Simply said: Love what you do and do what you love. When you leverage the love you have for something in your personal and professional life the rest (i.e. the money) will come naturally. Tiger didn’t set out to be the top earning golfer of all time, he set out to become the best golfer of all time. Of course, if you win all the time as the best golfer, that also means you win the prize money. Gotta ‘Love’ that!
The golden rule of motivation is that we all like to do things we can do well, while none of us likes having to do things we can’t do well. You either spend time doing something you love or not. Make it a top priority to spend your time doing whichever makes you most happy. To find out what you like, love or enjoy you can start out with this question: “What motivates you to perform at your best and give your all?”
Once you know what motivates you you can use it to begin to drive your choices, influence your behavior and reprogram old habits. Discover your strengths and then find a way to unfold them in the direction that brings your heart the greatest satisfaction.
The following questions have been distilled from years of interviewing other people about how they derived their top talents and most successful skills:
· What do you do that when your done doing it you feel amazing, alert and alive?
· Have you ever done something that left you feeling more powerful, connected and energized then when you first started?
· What activities do you partake in that when you do them you feel an adrenaline high and when you’re finished you feel energized?
· Where do you most enjoy spending your time?
· What do I do where I lose all track of time?
· What do I most often give to others?
· What do I have the most fun doing?
· What do others look to me for help with?
· What comes especially easy to you right now?
· What have you done especially well previously?
· What skills and activities have accounted for your greatest successes to date?
· What parts of your job do you do better than other parts or other people?
· What do other people most often complimented you on?
· Where do you have the ability to become outstanding?
· Where can you perform in your profession or personal life to “distinction?”
· What do the people closest to me say I am passionate about?
· What are your gifts (unique skills and talents) that if fully developed and completely contributed would make a significant impact in your life, your community, and the world?
· How might you best put these skills into service to better strangers and loved ones alike?
· What ideas, things, places and/or people am I most inspired by?
· What personality qualities account for your greatest successes in life so far?
Take time at the beginning of your day to contemplate your answers to these questions. As you do this exercise over time you will become more comfortable with these questions and you will be able to answer them in more specific detail. In the meantime be patient with yourself and allow the answers to come to you when they do.
If you are still not sure what your strengths are you could probably benefit from the use of an “objective” mirror, such as someone who can see your perspective from a 3rd person point-of-view. What is elusive to spot for you may be plainly obvious for another person to see. Russ built his coaching practice on the ability to spot the “truth” and help his clients recognize it, release it and reclaim their potential.
If this is something that is of interest you contact Russ directly and ask about a complimentary Possibility Finding Session, or look into the possibility of using a mentoring program to help get what you need to done.
