Archive for life skills
Failure to Act = Failure to Succeed
Don’t worry about what others will think. That statement has become has almost cliché, an old standby for motivation, but how many people actually live by that motto? Ask yourself, how many actions have you failed to take in your life, fearing what other people may think? My guess is there are quite a few, probably too many to count. You’re not alone though, many of us have missed great opportunities fretting over how we might be perceived. We get so wrapped up in every possible negative scenario that we fail to see the obvious “silver lining” in things. For some reason, not acting feels safer than the alternative. Later, we lament to anyone in earshot, about how stagnant our lives have become and about all our lost opportunities. It’s an awful cycle but one that can become habitual very easily.
Fear of the way we are perceived can be a major impediment to growth. Many of us become paralyzed from taking action because we’re afraid of the way it will look to others, but this paralysis is completely unwarranted. The majority of people—those same people we worry about—are far too concerned about themselves and their own issues to even notice what we’re doing. If you think about it, concern over the way we are perceived is rather egotistical. It is none of our business what other people think about us.
Now there are people who care about you, and thus have a vested stake in the decisions you make, but why in the world would you worry about their perceptions? They are the people who want you to succeed and will unfailingly root for you regardless of the outcome of the decisions you make. They are your support team, people who will be there for you through good and bad. Count yourself lucky for having them in your corner. The rest of the world, however, is too wrapped up in their own daily grind to have time to ponder yours.
I have been guilty of inaction in the past, agonizing on the way it may look to others. Sadly, that is time I can never get back, but hopefully, by sharing this epiphany with you, I can at least make it count for something. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll probably agree that at least 95% of the thoughts you entertain are of a self-centered nature.
We think about ourselves, and that is perfectly normal. The remainder of our thoughts is probably spent worrying or celebrating the ones we love. But how much time do you spend thinking about “John Doe’s” life? The answer is probably none, except for how John Doe’s life may effect your own or your loved ones. That being said, why would you assume that John Doe has time to pine over you?
He doesn’t. Isn’t that a tremendous relief? His only thoughts, in regard to your life, are how your success or failure will impact him.
Take a talented ballplayer, just up from college, an absolute star in his collegiate days. In his first year at the Major League level, he finds himself on the bench, playing second fiddle to a perennial all-star. This doesn’t sit well with him at all. He is accustomed to being the star, and his new role of bench warmer is not exactly what he had envisioned. He wants to secure the starting position, but he’s hampered by thoughts of how the fans will take it.
Does he want this all-star—his competition—to fail? Probably, but not because he dislikes him. His only thought is how that failure may positively benefit him. Now I’m not saying this is a healthy way to think, but I will say it’s natural. But here’s why I brought that up: If you decide not to act towards growth and excellence in your life, there will always be someone else who has figured out it’s best to act. Your inaction could be just what John Doe was waiting for.
Planning and preparation are important tools for success, but they are worthless if we fail to act when given the opportunity. The people we recognize as great, the ones we admire, are the ones that made a decision to act, some in the face of great public scrutiny. When the astronomer Copernicus tried to convince the world that the earth revolved around the sun, his views met with grave debate from a scientific community that believed the opposite. But he was right, and the rest is history. But what if he would have been wrong? Okay, so he was wrong. What did he really lose by deciding to act on his theory? He’d still be the same old Copernicus. His decision to act, though, changed not only his own life, but the world’s.
The only negative thing that can happen as a result of a new decision is that it may not quite work out the way you had imagined. But what have you really lost? The worst case scenario is that you’ll be back to square one, ready to make another decision and act upon it. Believe me, there is a not a swarm of people stroking their moustache, ready to pass judgment or belittle you. You’re not that important to them, and they just don’t have time!
Key Questions to Uncover Your Strengths
Ask somebody “what are your strengths?” and you will likely get a perplexed look as a response. This tends to happen for one of two reasons: The person is too shy to mention their strengths, perhaps out of fear of looking conceited, or the person doesn’t answer, probably because they have not fully considered what their strengths are.
Let’s assume that you have no worries and hang-up’s about mentioning your strengths to others, but if you do, you will find Subconscious Restructuring of great interest. If you haven’t yet fully considered what your strengths are then continue reading to find out ways we can focus on uncovering strengths.
Usually our strengths come to us so naturally that we tend think everyone is or ought to be good at them. For example, we all read at a different speeds but yet we tend to think that our reading speed is the average reading speed for other most people. Similarily we may have some exceptional listening skills, artistic eye, or dancing ability that is laying dormant just waiting to be discovered.
The truth is that most other people don’t have the same strengths as you. You are unique simply because of the way you see, process and do things. The talents your see as common are usually one of a kind. Our unique way of seeing the world is an inherent strength that can be used to our advantage. Hone in your strengths and you can easily double your income or successfully build a business around them.
Did you know that country singing sensation Leanne Rhymes started at age 3? Tiger Woods, the guru of golfing generation started at age 7. The worlds most successful investor Warren Buffet credits this principle for becoming a billionaire. What is the success principal that these famous examples all started at such a young age?
Loverage. Simply said: Love what you do and do what you love. When you leverage the love you have for something in your personal and professional life the rest (i.e. the money) will come naturally. Tiger didn’t set out to be the top earning golfer of all time, he set out to become the best golfer of all time. Of course, if you win all the time as the best golfer, that also means you win the prize money. Gotta ‘Love’ that!
The golden rule of motivation is that we all like to do things we can do well, while none of us likes having to do things we can’t do well. You either spend time doing something you love or not. Make it a top priority to spend your time doing whichever makes you most happy. To find out what you like, love or enjoy you can start out with this question: “What motivates you to perform at your best and give your all?”
Once you know what motivates you you can use it to begin to drive your choices, influence your behavior and reprogram old habits. Discover your strengths and then find a way to unfold them in the direction that brings your heart the greatest satisfaction.
The following questions have been distilled from years of interviewing other people about how they derived their top talents and most successful skills:
· What do you do that when your done doing it you feel amazing, alert and alive?
· Have you ever done something that left you feeling more powerful, connected and energized then when you first started?
· What activities do you partake in that when you do them you feel an adrenaline high and when you’re finished you feel energized?
· Where do you most enjoy spending your time?
· What do I do where I lose all track of time?
· What do I most often give to others?
· What do I have the most fun doing?
· What do others look to me for help with?
· What comes especially easy to you right now?
· What have you done especially well previously?
· What skills and activities have accounted for your greatest successes to date?
· What parts of your job do you do better than other parts or other people?
· What do other people most often complimented you on?
· Where do you have the ability to become outstanding?
· Where can you perform in your profession or personal life to “distinction?”
· What do the people closest to me say I am passionate about?
· What are your gifts (unique skills and talents) that if fully developed and completely contributed would make a significant impact in your life, your community, and the world?
· How might you best put these skills into service to better strangers and loved ones alike?
· What ideas, things, places and/or people am I most inspired by?
· What personality qualities account for your greatest successes in life so far?
Take time at the beginning of your day to contemplate your answers to these questions. As you do this exercise over time you will become more comfortable with these questions and you will be able to answer them in more specific detail. In the meantime be patient with yourself and allow the answers to come to you when they do.
If you are still not sure what your strengths are you could probably benefit from the use of an “objective” mirror, such as someone who can see your perspective from a 3rd person point-of-view. What is elusive to spot for you may be plainly obvious for another person to see. Russ built his coaching practice on the ability to spot the “truth” and help his clients recognize it, release it and reclaim their potential.
If this is something that is of interest you contact Russ directly and ask about a complimentary Possibility Finding Session, or look into the possibility of using a mentoring program to help get what you need to done.
