Five Self-Esteem Strategies for Students p2

The rigors of school present can present many complex and unique challenges for today’s students. Maintaining a balance between the burdens of course work and the social demands of peers can be extremely difficult no matter who you are.  Consequently, within this challenging environment, the necessity for creating and sustaining healthy self-esteem takes on significant importance.

Low self-esteem, whether stemming from poor grades or a lack of popularity, can be a very serious issue.  Studies show that students with an unhealthy self image are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcohol and using illicit drugs.  If the condition is not addressed, students may present with symptoms of anxiety and depression, develop physical ailments, and even contemplate suicide.

The enormous pressures that youths face on a daily basis can accumulate and often seem unbearable. To weather this storm, it is crucial that students develop ways to maintain a healthy self image—to build their self-esteem.  The first part of this series discussed the first two tips you can use to create and maintain a healthy self-image. Below are three more tips you can use to construct and nourish more positive self-esteem:

3.  Create a Network of “True” Friends

If your current network of friends includes people you feel you need to impress or who pressure you to act in ways you ordinarily wouldn’t, you may want to reconsider your affiliation.  Trying to be someone you’re not, just for the sake of popularity, is unhealthy and unnecessary.  It can cause anxiety and your feelings of self-worth may suffer.  You should never have to try that hard.

True friends are the ones you can always count on to be there for you.  They are the people that enrich your life, not by how they look or what they wear, but by their loyalty and integrity.  You rely upon them to help celebrate your success and for a sympathetic ear in times of affliction.  Having people in your life that help motivate you towards triumph, and cushion the blow when you when you fall, will do a world of good for your self-esteem.

4.  Be Honest and Keep Your Word

Have you ever told a lie and then, when you thought it may come to light, told another just to protect the first?  If you answered no, I congratulate you, but if you answered in the affirmative, rest assured, you are in the majority.

How did these lies make you feel?  A bit stressed? Anxious? I’m guessing they did.  These “little white lies” may seem harmless on the surface, but they can create tribulations for you down the road.

The problem is, while trying to juggle these minor inconsistencies, told, perhaps, to escape an obligation or appear more popular, you are elevating your level of stress, which can in turn damage your self-esteem.

The truth, however, has dual benefits.  As the American Playwright David Mamet once quipped, “Always tell the truth—it’s the easiest thing to remember.”  Well said.  When you tell the truth, you never have to get your story straight.  Also, while the truth is not always convenient, it will, at the very least, bolster your sense of integrity.  Tell the truth and keep your word.  You may not always be popular, but you will be respected.

5.  Take Time for Gratitude

When you truly appreciate just how special and how unique you are, it can feel very powerful.  You feel like you can accomplish anything.  But there is another emotion, one equally powerful, that is perhaps even more significant—the feeling of gratitude, expressed to those who helped to shape you.

Remember, you didn’t become who you are without help, and taking time to give regular thanks for the blessings in your life will help unlock a spiritual lift that will forever sustain you.

Five Self-Esteem Strategies for Students p1

For students, school is more than just a place where classes are held, tests are taken and grades dispersed.  It is also the most prominent social arrangement in their lives—a place where friendships are cultivated, and the need to be liked and valued by peers is central.

The pressure to excel academically while still being well-received by one’s cohorts can be difficult. To weather this storm, it is crucial that students develop ways to maintain a healthy self image—to build their self-esteem.  Below are two tips you can use to construct and nourish a positive self-image:

1.  Recognize Your Strengths

Instead of squandering time, pondering all the things your not, take some time to reflect and write down all the things you do well.  Maybe you’re exceptional at math or shooting a basketball, a computer whiz or just a good listener with your friends and family. These are all essential traits that shape and define you.

Focusing only on your limitations stifles your ability to grow and blossom and creates a lot of strain in your life.  Regardless of how much you may try, you are certain to ascertain that becoming good at everything will never be possible.  Why go through the heartache?

Concentrate on improving skills you already possess, rather than fretting over the ones you lack.  This strategy will create a sense of momentum and worth in your life, helping you feel valued and appreciated.  By creating an inventory of your skills and abilities, you are recognizing your own self worth. Take some time to acknowledge and celebrate those characteristics that make you unique and irreplaceable.

2.  Remember, Everybody Fails.  Everybody.

In 1854 and again in 1858, Abraham Lincoln campaigned for a seat in the United States Senate, and in both elections he was defeated.  But he never once allowed these losses to label or discourage him, nor did he wallow in self pity.  Instead of giving up, as most certainly would have, Lincoln learned from these defeats, became motivated to overcome them—to grow.  Then, in 1860, amidst disquieting times within the nation, Lincoln was elected the 16th President of the United States, and the rest is, well, history.

A great contemporary example of persistance and determination is the story of young Sydney Crosby, who this year became the youngest hockey captain ever to hoist NHL’s holy grail, Lord Stanley’s Cup. What is unique about Crosby is that the year prior he and his team made it to the Stanley Cup Finals, only to be defeated. This year he ironically faced the same team as last years finals, and this time they won.

You are going to have impediments in your life, but your image—your story—will be shaped not by those adverse events, but by how you react to them.  Receiving a poor grade on an exam, for example, can be an agonizing setback and can cause you a great deal of stress.  You convince yourself that all is lost, based on this sole event.

The trick is to view this setback from a different perspective—to change the way you react.  This isolated failure, while discouraging, can become a wonderful opportunity for growth.  First, accept that you made a mistake—it happens to everyone—and develop a plan to correct it, to prevent the likelihood of a recurrence.  Next and most importantly, move on—let it go.

Self-esteem is something that you must continually work on everyday, even despite circumstances. Self-confidence is like a muscle in that the more you exercise it the more you strengthen it. Stay tuned for even more tips to help ensure you can cope with your schooling.